The real question however, is why don’t we seek this “connection” more? If it feels good and results in more satisfying communication regardless of the relationship, then why not try to "connect" with others in every conversation even with people with whom we’re close?
It starts when we start to become more aware of our communication, and more importantly those times when we really feel a connection with another person. Consider thinking about the following questions in your next conversation:
- What am I doing in terms of my communication with the other person?
- What’s happening between myself and the other person?
- What feelings and thoughts am I having?
- How is the other person communicating in response to what I'm saying and doing?
If we could identify “connection” behaviors, then maybe we could use those behaviors in every conversation to really move our conversations to another level. The behaviors may be different with different people and in different contexts, but you should be able to identity at least what you did that created a connection. As you learn about those behaviors and build on them, you can begin using them in every conversation with every person and realize more effective and satisfying communication with others.