Steps" to be an outstanding communicator. Other sources also have lists of various lengths that if followed will allow you to communicate like you've never done before. The implication either stated or implied is that you have to re-invent how you communicate now or basically start over to develop a brand new way of communicating.
This has never made sense to me. First of all, it's impossible to compile a list of the exact communication behaviors needed by each person in all their conversations. Every conversation is too different. Each person in every conversation is unique and unpredictable.
Second, every person is a successful communicator in many situations. There's no reason to "start over" and develop a whole new set of communication behaviors. Instead, use those behaviors that are currently working for you and have worked for you over time. Focus on enhancing your current skills and learning new skills to deal with those situations in which your communication doesn't go so well. For example if you regularly have conflicts or misunderstandings with a person try this new approach:
- enhance your current skills
- learn new skills
Use this straightforward approach to develop your own set of "ideal" communication traits that work for you in all your different communication situations. Just don't re-invent something that isn't broke.